Decluttering Tips and Support

Dear Reader,

Not long ago, I found myself frustrated as I pulled weeds in our front yard. My frustration stemmed from two places:

1. I detest all yard work. I have the opposite of a green thumb (black thumb??) and while I can tidy a room with ease, I am exhausted by the thought of pulling weeds or trimming hedges.

2. I thought my husband would take care of the yard, and I was annoyed that I had to do it. 😂

Pat and I have a pretty good division of labor when it comes to laundry, dishes, and other home management tasks. But sometimes when things are left unspoken, we make assumptions which...well you probably know the saying.

I came inside and said something to the effect of, "I thought that you were responsible for maintaining the yard?"
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"I am," he replied. "But you were pulling the weeds so I didn't say anything."
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"I was pulling them because you weren't doing it!" 🤯
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This example showed me a key breakdown in our communication - we hadn't explicitly discussed the minimum standard of care for the yard work. Pat planned to get it done, but just not on my timeline.
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Sharing the domestic load and clearly communicating the conception, planning, and execution (CPE) of each task is a main theme in the book Fair Play by Eve Rodsky, the expertise of this week's guest, Valerie Recore.

On the Podcast

If you’ve ever looked around your house and thought, “Why am I the only one who notices the dishes?” - you’re not alone.

In this week’s podcast episode, I sat down with Valerie Recore, a productivity coach and Certified Fair Play Facilitator, who helps moms share the load at home without nagging, guilt, or resentment.

When the Dishes Started Talking Back

Valerie shared how, after having kids, she found herself taking care of nearly everything - from the dishes to the mental to-do list that never ends. One day, surrounded by dirty plates, she realized just how resentful she’d become. She felt like the dishes were taunting her - and realized she needed to speak to her husband. Her husband's response - "I just thought they’d get done eventually."

That honest conversation was the start of something new. Valerie and her husband created a simple system: each person would take full responsibility for the dishes for an entire week, Sunday through Saturday. They agreed on a few ground rules - or what the Fair Play Method calls a “Minimum Standard of Care” - to keep things running smoothly.

It wasn’t about perfection. It was about partnership.

What Is the Fair Play Method?

The Fair Play system, created by Eve Rodsky, helps couples identify all the invisible tasks that keep a household running - and share them more equitably.

Each task is divided into three parts:

1. Conception: Realizing the task needs to be done
2. Planning: Deciding when and how it will happen
3. Execution: Actually doing it

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Valerie explained that when both partners agree on shared values and minimum standards, tasks stop feeling lopsided or invisible.

From Chaos to Collaboration

If you feel like you’re the only one who cares about keeping your home tidy or decluttered, Valerie suggests making it a family conversation - not a solo burden.

Here are a few ideas she shared:

• Make tidying fun. After some 1:1 connection time with your kids, put on a family clean-up playlist and let everyone pick a song.
• Give everyone a nightly task. Whether it’s loading the dishwasher or feeding the cat, rotate tasks regularly.
• Talk about your “Minimum Standard of Care.” What does “clean enough” mean for your family? Discuss it over dinner so everyone’s voice is heard.
• Tie chores to values. For example, teamwork, responsibility, or safety. This helps kids understand why it matters, not just what to do.

Keep the Conversation Going

Valerie recommends weekly check-ins with your partner to talk about what’s working and what needs adjusting. In busy seasons - like back-to-school or the holidays - you might even touch base daily.

If you’re ready to feel more peace, partnership, and joy at home, start by noticing where resentment shows up - and turn it into a chance for collaboration.

Listen to the full episode on your favorite podcast player or watch on YouTube to hear Valerie’s story and practical tips for creating a more balanced home life.

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Things I'm Loving Right Now

✨ My decluttering/organizing tool of the week is having one or two bins nearby when you declutter that I call "relocation bins". I explain these more in this episode about my TRANSFORM method, but essentially when you are working in a space and you inevitably find things that belong in another room, you should place them in a bin rather than waste time taking them to their homes in the moment.

✨ My decluttering/organizing resource of the week is Valerie's free Fair Play Conversation Starter Playbook - a great way to get the conversation started with your spouse, partner, or kids about how to share the load at home.

✨ My favorite recipe of the week is this Slow Cooker Ground Beef Stew - I'm ALL IN with slow cooker season!

What are some things you're loving right now? Hit reply and let me know.

On the journey with you,

Emily

P.S. Skipped to the end? No problem! This week I chatted with Valerie Recore about how to share the load with your partner without walking on eggshells, feeling resentful, or constantly nagging.

*Note- affiliate links may be included, which means I get a small commission if you use my link - thanks!